she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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