Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
