Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
