i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
