I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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