I'm gonna have a badass scar
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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