How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
