i just wanna soil my oats bro
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
