i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
