Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
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