I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
