having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
