does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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