after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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