One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
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