They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
