4 words: hood of his car
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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