She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
