so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
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