Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
