ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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