theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
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