he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize