chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
