someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
