i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
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