So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize