do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
