stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
You smell like stripper and shame
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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