If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
