Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
