this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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