Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I need water and some morals
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
