I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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