i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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