Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
