barbara walters just said penis...
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
You are a genius and a whore.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
