Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I accidentally burped into my bong.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize