I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Randomize
