I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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