Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
