Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
