i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
