Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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