thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
