I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
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