just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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