She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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