He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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