But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
