meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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