direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
