I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize