did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
