Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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