i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
