I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
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