mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
