If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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