I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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